娜塔莉波曼哈佛畢業聯歡日演講 Too, Battled Self-Doubt

You Are Here for a Reason你存在的理由

Hello, class of 2015. I am so honored to be here today. I have to admit that today, even 12 years after graduation, I’m still 1)insecure about my own 2)worthiness. I have to GM remind myself today, “You are here for a reason.” Today, I feel much like I did when I came to Harvard Yard as a freshman in 1999. I felt like there must have been some mistake— that I wasn’t smart enough to be in this company and that every time I open my mouth, I have to prove that I’m not just a dumb actress.

哈囉，二〇一五年畢業班，今天很榮幸能來到這裡。我必須承認，就算已經畢業十二年了，我到現在對自己的價值還是缺乏信心。我現在還是要提醒自己：「妳存在是有理由的。」今天，我覺得自己跟一九九九年剛進哈佛時的我沒什麼兩樣。當年剛進哈佛時，我覺得一定是哪裡搞錯了—因為我不夠聰明，沒有資格加入這個大家族，而且每次開口說話時，我都要證明自己不是愚笨的女演員。

I went to a public high school on Long Island. Since I’m ancient and the Internet was just starting when I was in high school, people didn’t really pay that much attention to the fact that I was an actress. I was known mainly at school for having a backpack bigger than I was. I was voted for my senior yearbook “most likely to be a 3)contestant on LG Jeopardy,” or code for 4)nerdiest.

我在長島就讀一所公立高中。我的年代有點久遠了，網路是在我念高中時才剛剛開始，所以當時校園裡沒有多少人注意到我是女演員。我在學校裡之所以出名，主要是因為我背的書包比我個子還大。在畢業紀念冊裡，我被票選為「最有可能成為《危險邊緣》節目的參賽者」，說白一點就是頭號書呆子。

VOCABULARY

1)insecure (a.) 缺乏安全感的，沒有自信的(n.) insecurity [ ́6nsE`kjUrEti]

Michelle is very insecure about her looks.

2)worthiness (n.) 值得尊重，有價值
New employees must work hard to prove their worthiness.

3)contestant (n.) 參賽者 
The contestants on the show are all so talented.

4)nerdy (a.) 書呆子的，宅的

How can you go out with such a nerdy guy?

5)overwhelmed (a.) 無力的，無法承受的，不知所措的

Sarah’s busy schedule left her feeling overwhelmed.

6)unimaginable (a.) 無法想像的，想不到的

Losing a child can cause unimaginable grief.

I Was Completely Overwhelmed我完全不堪負荷

When I got to Harvard, just after the release of Star Wars: Episode I, I knew I’d be starting over in terms of how people viewed me. I feared people would assume I’d gotten in just for being famous, and it wouldn’t have been far from the truth. When I came here, I’d never written a 10-page paper before. I was completely 5)overwhelmed, and thought that reading 1,000 pages a week was 6)unimaginable, that writing a 50-page 7)thesis was something I could never do.

我剛進入哈佛時，是《星際大戰首部曲》剛上映的時候，我知道自己要重新建立別人對我的看法。我擔心大家會認為我之所以能進哈佛，靠的只是名氣，而事實上也差不多是如此。我剛進來時，還沒寫過十頁以上的報告。我完全不堪負荷，每星期要念一千頁的書更是令我難以想像，覺得寫五十頁的論文也是我做不到的事。

Driven by these 1)insecurities, I decided that I was going to find something to do at Harvard that was serious and meaningful, that would change the world and make it a better place. So, freshman fall, I decided to take 8)Neurobiology and Advanced Modern Hebrew Literature. But I saw friends around me writing papers on sailing and pop culture magazines, and professors teaching classes on fairy tales and The Matrix. I realized that seriousness for seriousness’ sake was its own kind of 9)trophy, and a 10)dubious one.

受到這些不安全感的驅使，我決定要在哈佛做些嚴肅且有意義的研究，而且是可以改變世界的研究，讓世界變得更好。於是，在大一上學期時，我決定修讀神經生物學和進階現代希伯來文學。但我發現身邊朋友寫的報告內容都是關於帆船和流行文化雜誌，教授講課的內容也是關於童話和電影《駭客任務》。我這才意識到，為了嚴肅而嚴肅本身就是件虛榮的事，而且也不是件真正光彩的事。

I don’t love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful.我不愛讀書。我討厭讀書。我喜歡學習。 學習是很美的事。

娜塔莉波曼談學習

Natalie Portman
娜塔莉波曼
一九八一年出生於以色列耶路薩冷的美國演員，一九九四年以盧貝松執導的《終極追殺令》Léon(美國上映片名 The Professional)步入影壇。於喬治魯卡斯的《星際大戰》系列飾演納卜星球年輕女王 Padmé Amidala 成名。二〇一〇 年以《黑天鵝》奪下奧斯卡最佳女主角獎。近期的作品是在《雷神索爾》系列飾演索爾女友 Jane Foster。

1)thesis (n.) 論文，畢業論文，製作 
How long did it take to write your master’s thesis?

2)neurobiology (n.) 神經生物學
Neurobiology is the study of nerve and brain function.

3)trophy (n.) 獎盃，獎品，戰利品 
The tennis player’s living room is filled with trophies.

4)dubious (a.) 可疑的，半信半疑的 
His story seemed a little dubious to me.

I Wanted to Tell Stories 我想說故事

When I got to my graduation, sitting where you sit today, after four years of trying to get excited about something else, I admitted to myself that I couldn’t wait to go back and make more films. I wanted to tell stories, to imagine the lives of others, and help others do the same. I’d found, or perhaps 1)reclaimed, my reason.

我畢業時，就坐在你們現在坐的位子，那時已經花了四年時間試著尋找其他能讓我提得起勁的事，但我承認自己是迫不及待想回去拍更多電影。我想說故事，想詮釋別人的人生，也幫助其他人完成同樣的事。 我找到了，或者應該說我又找回了我存在的理由。

In my professional life, it also took me time to find my own reasons for doing my work. The first film I was in came out in 1994. I was 13 years old upon the film’s release, and I can still quote what the New York Times said about me, “Miss Portman poses better than she acts.” The film went on to 2)bomb commercially. That film was called The Professional. And today, 20 years and 35 films later, it’s still the film people approach me about the most, to tell me how much they loved it. I feel lucky that my first experience releasing a film was initially such a disaster by all standard measures. I learned early that my meaning had to be from the experience of making the film and the possibility of connecting with individuals rather than the 3)foremost trophies in my industry: financial and critical success.

在我的職業生涯中，找到自己做這份工作的理由也花了我不少時間。我第一次拍電影是在一九九四年，電影上映時我十三歲，我還記得當時《紐約時報》這樣形容我：「波曼小姐擺姿勢的功力比她的演技好得多。」這部電影結果成了票房毒藥，片名是《終極追殺令》。不過，二十年過去了，我已經拍了三十五部電影，直到現在，這部仍是最多人來告訴我他們有多喜歡的電影。從任何標準來說，我拍第一部電影的經歷基本上是個災難，但這點對我來說算是幸運的。因為這樣讓我很早就學到，我存在的意義必須來自拍電影的經歷，以及與人接觸的可能性，而不是這一行的最高榮耀：票房和影評方面的成功。

I am not someone who sacrifice all for the cinema. My life will be always more important.
我不是那種為電影犧牲一切的人，我的生活永遠比較重要。

娜塔莉波曼談生活

VOCABULARY

1)reclaim (v.) 取回，奪回

The golfer hopes to reclaim the title of world champion.

2)bomb (v.) 不賣座，大敗 
The play bombed on Broadway.

3)foremost (a.) 最重要的，最先的 
Albert Einstein was the foremost scientist of the 20th century.

4)passionate (a.) 有熱忱的，熱情的
Brazilians are passionate about soccer.

5)Inquisition (n.) (中世紀天主教審判異端的)宗教法庭

Thousands of people were killed during the Inquisition.

6)terrorist (n.) 恐怖份子，恐怖主義者

The terrorists responsible for the bombing were never caught.

7)immune (a.) 不受影響的，免疫的 
Few people are immune to criticism.

My dad’s a doctor, and when I was 8, I went to one of his medical conferences where they were demonstrating laser surgery on a chicken. I was so mad that a chicken had to die, I never ate meat again.

我爸是個醫生，當我八歲時跟他去參加一場醫學會議，他們用一隻雞示範雷射手 術。我好生氣那隻雞必須被殺，從此我就不再吃肉了。

娜塔莉波曼談吃素的原因

Owning My Meaning自己決定存在的意義

I started choosing only jobs I was 4)passionate about. I made Goya’s Ghosts, a foreign independent film, and studied art history, visiting the LG Prado every day for four months as I read about LG Goya and the Spanish 5)Inquisition. I made V for Vendetta, a studio action movie for which I learned everything I could about freedom fighters, who otherwise might be called 6)terrorists. I was able to own my meaning and not have it be determined by box office receipts.

從此我只選擇自己熱愛的電影去拍。我主演了一部外國獨立電影《哥雅畫作下的女孩》，還要學習藝術史，四個月來每天都去參觀普拉多博物館，並閱讀關於哥雅和西班牙宗教裁判的資料。我還拍了大片廠動作片《V怪客》，從這部片中我學到一切關於自由鬥士的事，換一個角度，這些人可能被稱為恐怖份子。我得以自己決定存在的意義，而不是讓票房收入來決定。

By the time I got to making Black Swan, the experience was entirely my own. I felt 7)immune to the worst things anyone could say or write about me, and to whether an audience felt like going to see my movie or not. Authoring your own experience was very much what Black Swan itself was about. Because my character, Nina, is only artistically successful when she finds perfection and pleasure for herself, not when she’s trying to be perfect in the eyes of others.

等到拍《黑天鵝》的時候，我打造了完全屬於自己的經歷。不管是誰說到或寫到關於我最糟糕的評論、是否有觀眾願意看我的電影，我都不會受到影響。打造自己的經歷，也就是《黑天鵝》這部電影的主旨。我的角色妮娜之所以能在藝術事業上功成名就，就是因為找到了自己的理想和喜悅，而不是成為別人眼中的完美形象。

A Scary Challenge一場可怕的挑戰

People told me that Black Swan was an artistic risk, a scary challenge to try to portray a professional ballet dancer. When it quickly became clear, in preparing for the film, that I was maybe fifteen years away from being a 1)ballerina, it made me work a million times harder. If I’d known my own limitations, I never would have taken the risk. And the risk led to one of my greatest personal and professional experiences.

曾經有人告訴我，在《黑
天鵝》中詮釋專業的芭蕾舞者，是一場藝術風險，也是一場可怕的挑戰。在準備拍片時，我很快就發現，如果要成為真正的芭蕾舞者，我大概還得下十五年的苦工，因此讓我多付出一百萬倍的努力。假如我早知道自己的極限在哪裡，我不會去冒這個風險。但這場風險把我帶向我個人和事業中最重要的歷程之一。

People always talk about diving into things you’re afraid of. What has served me is diving into my own 2)obliviousness—being more confident than I should be. It can be a good thing if it makes you try things you never might have tried. Your inexperience is an 3)asset, and will allow you to think in original and 4)unconventional ways.

大家總是說要放手去做那些讓自己感到害怕的事。但對我來說受用的是，放任自己的漫不經意—讓自己變得過於自信。假如這樣能讓你嘗試從未嘗試過的事，這對你來說可能是好事。缺乏經驗也是一種優勢，因為這樣能讓你用原創和另類的方式思考。

Forge Your Own Path 打造自己的路

You here will all go on to achieve great things. There’s no doubt about that. Each time you set out to do something new, your inexperience can either lead you down a path where you will 5)conform to someone else’s values, or you can forge your own path. If your reasons are your own, your path, even if it is a strange and clumsy path, will be wholly yours. And you will control the reward of what you do by making your internal life fulfilling. To quote one of my favorite thinkers, LG Abraham Joshua Heschel, “To be or not to be is not the question. The 6)vital question is how to be and how not to be.”

在座的各位將來都會功成名就，這是毫無疑問的。每當你們準備展開新的旅程時，你們的經驗不足不是帶領你們遵循其他人的價值觀，就是打造自己的路。假如你們能自己決定存在的理由，就算那是條怪異又崎嶇的路，也完全都是屬於你自己的路。而你們可以藉由充實自己的內心生活，控制自己所做的事和回報。我要引述我最喜歡的思想家之一，亞伯拉罕約書亞赫施爾的名言：「生與死並不是問題，至關重要的問題是，如何生、如何死。」
Thank you. I can’t wait to see how you do all the beautiful things you will do.

謝謝各位。我迫不及待看到你們的成就。

VOCABULARY

1)ballerina [ ́b1l4`rin4] (n.) 女芭蕾舞者 
The ballet teacher used to be a ballerina.

2)obliviousness [E`blIviEsnIs] (n.) 不注意，不經意，健忘

His obliviousness to other people’s feelings is really annoying.

3)asset [`1s5t] (n.) 才能，資產，有價值的條件 
Richard’s leadership skills are his greatest asset.

4)unconventional [ ́9nk4n`v5n]4n4l] (a.) 不符合習俗的，非傳統的，非常規的

Stella has unconventional taste in clothes.

5)conform [k4n`f7rm] (v.) 遵從，遵守(習俗、規定等)

Most teenagers feel pressure to conform.

6)vital [`va6tEl] (a.) 不可缺少的，極為重要的 
Foreign trade is vital to Taiwan’s economy.

 

文章出處：最激勵人心的英文演講：EZ TALK 總編嚴選特刊

圖片來源：擷取自youtube